Me + Demon Child = Bus Ride from Hell

18/10/07


Me + Demon Child = Bus Ride from Hell



It was on my usual 393 from UNSW to Railway Square bus route that this encounter with evil itself occurred. I feel obliged to warn you, if you find creatures from the flaming pits of most blasphemous hell horrifying, then I implore you – read no further.

I sat innocuously, ipod on ear, glancing out into the surrounding Kensington landscape.
The bus halted to allow more aboard on Cleveland St. 'Spaces Between Us' by Expatriate filled my ears.

I felt the flat, sonic boom like sensation of another passenger sitting down next to me.
Initially I didn't realise, it was 2 passengers taking up temporary residence next to me.

I turned, slowly, even hesitantly. It was then I saw it, in all its mephisto-esque bestial fury, it was my first true encounter with evil. It must have been born last year on June 6 at 6am for this was surely the antichrist that was being nursed by its seemingly unsuspecting mother. I dropped my ipod headphones from my ears in amazement at the sinister creature before me.

But I hear you say, this guy has no kids! He just doesn't understand them!

Well, read on if you dare.

It's head, a tomato-like oval of withering white hairs turned to me, green snot funnelling from its nose, creating a collage of South Sydney Rabbitohs club colours when contrasted with its' hell-red facial complexion. It opened its' jaws and screamed what was surely..

"FUCK!!!"

Yes. It said "FUCK". The passengers of the bus looked as stunned as I did. Only they did not find Lucifer's earthly representation next to them as I unfortunately did.

And what of the mother I hear you ask? Well, instead of reprimanding her demon spawn,
she patted it on its' head, blowing it kisses, while I tried to covertly eye the inevitable '666' mark that was surely somewhere brandished upon its' scalp.

I sat stoically. While the demon growled, grunted and I'm pretty sure, farted, next to me. I prayed, hoping that the fact that I have neglected the religion I was born into would not go against me in a final showdown with the Jackal-spawned son of Satan. Railway Square could not arrive fast enough.

Just as the demon let loose a particularly evil tirade unholy blasphemies, 393 reached Central Station. It was here that my encounter with the beast came to an end.

Its' mother, surely some demonic entity in human disguise, cradled the beast in her arms and left the bus. The beast all the while growling and surely taunting us all.

It was over…or was it.

I returned my ipod headphones to my ears, only to be greeted by what was surely an omen…

'Evil' by Interpol.