There is more to the world than Rudd's emails and rugby league.

While every news break I see here in Australia rambles on about some email Kevin Rudd may or may not of sent and just about anything that can be even minutely related to a rugby league player, something important and distressing has been happening on the streets of Iran.

Maybe it’s the fact that I am an international news junkie. Maybe it’s the fact that injustices really piss me off. More likely it’s the fact that I find Iranian women incredibly hot, but I find what is happening in Tehran really horrifying.

Now I am not one to jump on the USA bandwagon and instantly slander any leader that doesn’t fit into their mould of the new world, but Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s blatant disregard for the democratic process and the rights of his people makes me feel about as healthy as he looks in the picture above.

While at this point there is no proof that the Iranian election was rigged, let’s be realistic here – it sure looks that way. As matter of fact, there is not much proof of anything that has happened in Iran over the past week, due to the fact that the world’s media has been banned. Banned from reporting the valiant protests of people angered by feeling rendered insignificant through the disappearance of their vote. Banned from reporting the brutal bashings and murders being unleashed by the pro-government Basij militia. Only chilling grainy videos from mobile phones have given any real glimpse of what is really going down in Iran.

But never fear! Iranian State TV here! Forget CNN or the BBC, luckily the Iranian “government” have decided that only one “media” outlet is capable of properly covering the crisis.

According to ‘Press TV’, the USA are to blame for the current shitstorm that the country is engulfed in. Yes, Barack and his crew are guilty of "intolerable" interference in Iran.

Now obviously the boys in red, white and blue got up to some intolerable interference in Iran back in 1953. In 2009, If anything, the problem is that the world community are guilty of intolerable non-interference.

The international community – particularly the influential USA and United Nations, must refuse to acknowledge the dodgy Ahmadinejad regime. He has cheated his people and the world.

To be continued.

Music – You arouse and disgust me simultaneously

Anyone that knows me at all well, knows that I have been told that I have ‘unusual’ taste in music on more than a few occasions. Well I don’t think I do, but if it is unusual to be bored beyond the point human tolerance with hip hop artists wearing bling, singing about ho’s and boasting about how many rivals they have shot; emo’s with vertical fringes, screaming then singing with a whiny middle-American accents and imposing their self-loathing upon me; and turgid Top 40 trash that is forgotten faster than whatever human interest story A Current Affair are pushing on any given week – then call me a musical weirdo.

Because I am a humanist and feel sorry for those of you who listen to shit music, and (more likely) because I haven’t posted a blog for some time, I have compiled a list of musicians/bands who are worthy of using their share of Earth’s oxygen. These artists do things differently in my opinion. Rather than knowing exactly which direction each song will go, you are left guessing. Clearly these are not the only musicians on the planet who don't suck absolute balls, but these are my standouts of recent times.


Check them out and become cool like me.



Crystal Castles




Heartsrevolution





M.I.A.




Ladyhawke




Nouvelle Vague



Kap Bambino



I salute the above saviors of musical integrity.

I think it is worth noting that my particular hatred of commercial hip hop had led me to make the following observation. Just like the the excesses of 80's hair metal contributed to its' downfall in the bleak financial times of the early 90's, those of the bling-obsessed hip hop world will do the same. There are only so many times people losing everything they own because of various global recessions can listen to some obnoxious rapper telling them how much cash they have before they turn off their so-called 'music'.

Today

Comparatively speaking, today was an eventful day.

1. I got up inhumanely early and watched the shit-boring Euro 2008 match between Spain and Italy.

2. I went to work, reprimanded several demon spawn for being annoying in class, nothing too eventful here I know, but I just wanted to refer to them as demon spawn.

3. I had one of those haircuts that feel like you didn’t have a haircut.

4. I got offered a job in the USA for next year, which I am sure everyone I know will tell me I am crazy if I don’t take, but I am not sure if I am going to take.

5. I successfully snubbed a really annoying person I have never liked by pretending my mobile had no reception and moving it around furiously.

6. I ate some strawberry milky ways, hence the picture of one above.

7. I bought a new shirt, I like it.

8. I am jigging my French class tonight to go and watch ‘Kung Fu Panda’ for free.

Sydney’s Motorways – Cheapest Parking in Town

I don’t know what all these whingeing motorists are on about, you lot are simply too hard to please. You complain about the various motorways throughout Sydney without taking into account what these masterworks of engineering brilliance really offer – the cheapest paid parking going around!

Where else in Sydney but the M5 motorway could you pay $3.80 to park your car for hours in the one spot? Cheap as,you ingrates!

Yes, with the exception of the ghost corridors that are the unused Lane Cove and Cross-City Tunnels, clued-up people are finding plentiful parking all day long throughout Sydney.

Thank you Mr Iemma and Mr Carr before you, your decisions to approve major motorways 2 lanes wide has resulted in more parking space throughout our great city and it’s metropolitan area.

Optus - about as useful as Derby were to the last English Premier League season

Over the last two days I have endured the distinctly unpleasant experience of dealing with Optus’ horrendous (lack of) customer service.

My phone has a full signal bar, yet I can neither make or receive calls or sms. There is no problem with the handset as I get the same problem when I played switcheroo with the sim cards.

Thank God the woman at the Optus call centre with the faux American accent told me that this was just a problem with my area! Never mind that another user in my household who also has the misfortune of being with Optus had no such problems.

Thank God that she promised it would be all fixed by today and fobbed me off. Well I am sure it will come as no great shock to you my dear fellow cynic, that my phone connection is still royally fucked!

Thanks for nothing Optus, you are useless and all your services suck and I plan to cancel my phone contract with you.

End angry blog.

Aléatoire parler

Well it’s been exactly one month since I have updated my blog, being a fan of doing things in distinctive monthly blocks (not really, just sounded like an interesting thing to claim to like), I am now updating it. Sort of.

I have been busy working, pillaging, plundering, drafting alliances between nations and calling broadcasting equipment various inventive profanities and haven’t gotten around to updating Cydonian Nights.

Please accept the above random mathematical graph as a gesture of my gratitude for you returning to read my blog after I haven’t posted for so long.

My French is getting better by the way, so I will deliver my next sentence in Français.

Maintenant je pars pour manger quelques châtaignes rôties.

The Macquarie Centre: Jewel in Sydney's Shopping Crown

I know I can’t speak for everyone, but I hate 3 hour + movies.

I really have a thing against movies that go longer than 180 minutes and thank Christ I am not the only one. The management of the Macquarie Centre at North Ryde obviously agree with my overlongism. Why else would they bring in parking fines for exceeding 3 hours in their shopping centre with no paid parking options…I mean obviously shoppers will not find enough to keep them occupied that long there, so it must be aimed at losers watching overly long movies! And hooray for their pesky staff being banned from parking at the centre, that’s sure to boost business! I wonder if this includes Macquarie Centre management? Surely if this is so they must spend more than 3 hours parked there everyday too…

New car park crusaders are not the only exciting new happenings at this oasis in the middle of Sydney’s new Silicon Valley, no way!

Every week there is an exciting new shop closure to keep the customers guessing – can you guess what will take over from the Good Vibrations surf store that has been there since the mid-90’s? If it’s as good as the ‘Aussie Sox’ store that replaced the long-running imported lollies shop, then centre-goers are in for a real treat!

Or if that doesn’t excite you, there are many other fun ways to enhance your Macquarie Centre experience. Try your car’s luck on one of the many thin but bulky black and yellow speed humps that adorn the centre’s car parks, get shouted at by the guy in the chief’s hat who works at Beard Papa Sweets, witness the amazing sounds of the Borders security buzzer that goes off on every second customer, find out all about how great Fitness First gyms are from the permanent(ly annoying) FF stand that fills one of the walkways, or if you feel like a bite to eat, witness the incredible efficiency of the food court cleaning staff as they clean the table you are eating from.

It’s no wonder the Centre Management have increased the rents for shop owners here, this shopping utopia is really going places!